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This is my dream. That we could all go to a rehab type of place, a big house on the beach, with people to talk to all night long when none of us can sleep, and no meds allowed because obviously the meds have done none of us any good.

It is just a fantasy of course. I feel like we are in worse shape than heroin addicts, who can go to rehab, get off the drugs, but with some hope of living a normal life at some point in the future.

It is the hopelessness of it all that is so depressing.

I have noticed we all keep apologizing for being negative and depressing, but we can’t help it…anyone who suffers with this every single day of their life would have to be superhuman not to be depressed.

The best way I live with my insomnia is meeting my friends for power walks after work. I can put my sunglasses on (I live in California) so hide my monstrously puffy eyes and my friends usually have their own sad stories, or funny stories, that at least temporarily takes my mind off feeling like shit (not sure if you can say that word on here).

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