Does anyone have a good marriage who has N

Kimchee · Joined: 16 Oct 2011 Posts: 61 Location: Quebec

Yep are you very happy in a relationship with your Narcolepsy condition. Please identify to what degree you have N. I suppose those on Xyrem would be most severe.
Thank You

notjustlazy · Joined: 25 Feb 2008 Posts: 13

I would have to say yes to this question.... but in our case we have been together for almost 30 years. We met as freshman in high school and pretty much have been together since. I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 35, so for the most part he is reasonably supportive, but there are always days of pure exaustion with no understanding . But all in all a lot of give and take...
As far as degree of n/c goes I normally have major difficulty waking and within a 2 min period after sitting in my chair or car I fall asleep.

Kimchee · Joined: 16 Oct 2011 Posts: 61 Location: Quebec

Wow that is wonderful to hear. The bit about you guys still being together. I don't fall asleep that quickly but dream away in the middle of what is being said. My marriage is ok but since I have gained those extra pounds I seem to fall asleep without realising I have. Not so active and kinda too sleepy for regular life. I can feel the same frustration or disappointment with my husband when I cannot do what I usually do other days. I like the give and take way. Counting what your missing out on makes you feel bad, guilty and responsible for someone else. Its silly but I don't know why I should feel that way. Do you take drugs to stay awake and do have to have them all the time. Are they worth taking to improve your relationship. Should I be fair to my husband and take them. I know that is a stupid question but what can I do.

Kimchee · Joined: 16 Oct 2011 Posts: 61 Location: Quebec

Wow that is wonderful to hear. The bit about you guys still being together. I don't fall asleep that quickly but dream away in the middle of what is being said. My marriage is ok but since I have gained those extra pounds I seem to fall asleep without realising I have. Not so active and kinda too sleepy for regular life. I can feel the same frustration or disappointment with my husband when I cannot do what I usually do other days. I like the give and take way. Counting what your missing out on makes you feel bad, guilty and responsible for someone else. Its silly but I don't know why I should feel that way. Do you take drugs to stay awake and do have to have them all the time. Are they worth taking to improve your relationship. Should I be fair to my husband and take them. I know that is a stupid question but what can I do.

Andromeda1528 · Joined: 04 Jul 2006 Posts: 347

I do have a good marriage; I have Narcolepsy - i've been told that I have a more mild version of Narcolepsy, but it feels more medium strength to me. I certainly do not have a perfect marriage, and I certainly have my own share of problems at the moment - weight, migraines, nightmares, depression, etc. - but while the weight thing hasn't been good for us, I would still call our marriage good. My husband is very supportive of me.
We've been married for 2 and a half years, but we've been together now for 9 years. It definitely helps that he knew from the beginning that I have narcolepsy, although I definitely am struggling with it a lot more now than I was when I was younger, but that has more to do with what i'm going through now than it does with the narcolepsy. that, and the fact that the meds just don't work for me like they used to.
It is possible to have a good marriage and have N. Just like one can have cancer or a disability or another difficult medical problem and still have a good marriage. It just takes work and yes there needs to be understanding - that isn't to say that it's easy because I do think N can be hard on a marriage, depending on both the degree of success one has in controlling it and then on how it is dealt with.
Every situation is different, so I don't mean to suggest that my story is an example for others - but I did want to say that it is possible to have a good marriage.

N50+ · Joined: 30 Mar 2012 Posts: 3 Location: Texas

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Kimchee · Joined: 16 Oct 2011 Posts: 61 Location: Quebec

Andromeda1528 Yes more work then I want but work always makes things better. But both have to work. I like what you have said.
N50+ wear nappy to bed and no one gets wet. Made for old people but good also for people who take drugs that make them forget to wake up to go to bathroom. Never take laxative and sleeping pill same time. Not funny same problem. You have a good wife.
I p#** on my husband he would throw me out of bed. Accident is not excuse for him. But it is an accident. Very good person your wife and you could have anything wrong with you and she would still love you. Knee replacement is problem with sex with my husband because it is loose and must be fixed.

I must be careful. Not a problem until it got loose. Think about it ladies - N50+ you don't understand so don't ask. Husband does not like being careful or thinking about something else same time. Not all people are the same.

kyethra · Joined: 06 Sep 2006 Posts: 258

I have quite a good marriage. We have been married five years, together for 8. Met him a several months before N, was diagnosed shortly after wedding when I got on his insurance. He has always been very supportive.I.didn't drive for three years so he always took me everywhere but didn't push me to drive again until I was ready. Right now it is hard on him since we have a baby who is just a few months old and I am taking xyrem so I don't get up with the baby but once between doses and my husband is sleep deprived. I will go back to work soon so we will see how that goes. I certainly feel my husband and I owe it to each other to take medicine for conditions and work on doing what we need to to manage things, like only taking short naps and using a lot of communication.

Kimchee · Joined: 16 Oct 2011 Posts: 61 Location: Quebec

Its the husband not Narcolepsy. You are on xyrem and don't get up for baby. He is wonderful. This is what I am looking for. If I try to fix my marriage by trying to fix my condition. I will get blamed. Easy is it to blame disabled person then to try be nice. All things wrong because of narcolepsy not him. Marriage broken because wife sick or pretend too much. His bad luck married sick person when he could have whole person.

Any disability make the other person good or bad partner. Disability bring out best or bad in people. marriage is about love, conviction and commitment no matter the circumstances.

Kimchee · Joined: 16 Oct 2011 Posts: 61 Location: Quebec

People have many reasons to end marriage. Sometimes lucky to have partner with mental illness or Narcolepsy to blame. Then they cannot blame self.

parnellus · Joined: 24 Feb 2011 Posts: 5 Location: Cornwall, NY

No--divorced for various reasons, my narcolepsy definitely a factor. Also, I have come to realize it isn't natural for humans to stay in a monogamous living arrangement.