Sleep Basics - 101 Questions About Sleep and Dreams

Chapter 4 - Children

26. Does pregnancy alter your sleep?
27. My baby is almost 3 months old. He wakes up crying dozens of times a night. My husband and I cannot get any sleep and he is thinking about moving out. What can I give my baby to help him sleep?
28. Why does rocking help babies go to sleep?
29. My 4-year-old wakes up in the middle of the night and the only way she will go back to sleep is in bed with my husband and me. Is it harmful to allow her to do this?
30. My 6-year-old walks in his sleep. Will it hurt him if he wakes-up while sleepwalking?
31. My 3-year-old will only go to sleep on the sofa while watching television. After she is asleep, my husband must carry her to bed. Should we put an end to this and, if so, how?
32. My twins are afraid to sleep in the dark and insist on sleeping with the light on. Can they get their proper rest from sleeping in the light?
33. My 5-year-old wets the bed. I have tried to limit her fluids after dinner and I have made her responsible for cleaning up her mess. But we are still at odds and her bed wetting continues. What can I do?
34. My little boy has the habit of waking up and asking us for a drink of water at 1 AM. What can we do to break this habit?
35. My brother and his wife lost their baby to crib death and it has just about ruined their lives. I am expecting our first child next month. Does crib death run in families? What should I do?
36. My 11-year-old stays up late reading or talking on the phone because he just is not sleepy, but he cannot get up and get going in the morning. What can I do?
    

26. Q: Does pregnancy alter your sleep?

Yes. Women feel that they want to sleep more during the first, and particularly during the second trimester. This desire for more sleep is thought to be related to increased energy demands associated with the growth of the fetus. Women in their third trimester of pregnancy will notice frequent disruptions in sleep and increased restlessness. The sleep problems during the last trimester are thought to be due to pregnancy-related changes in anatomy causing discomfort in certain sleeping postures. An important feature of the third trimester is weight gain of the mother. Large weight gains have been linked to an increased tendency for pregnant women to snore and to have breathing pauses during sleep (sleep apnea).

27. Q: My baby is almost 3 months old. He wakes up crying dozens of times a night. My husband and I cannot get any sleep and he is thinking about moving out. What can I give my baby to help him sleep?

This is an extremely serious situation. The problem, however, is usually not with the baby. Most babies do not sleep through the night until 3 - 9 months of age. If the doctor finds nothing wrong with the baby, then you need to find ways to live through the period while your baby develops the ability to sleep through the night. Get professional advice if your baby does not learn to get to sleep without someone in the room keeping him company. It is also important to get help if your marriage cannot stand the stress. Do not blame the baby.

28. Q: Why does rocking help babies go to sleep?

Doctors do not really know. But it is interesting to note that not only rocking, but many other kinds of repetitive stimulation seem to have calming and sleep-promoting effects. There are experiments showing that babies prefer rhythmic sounds to complete silence. Scientists are testing whether or not the early experience of hearing the beat of the mother' heart is related to preferences for rhythmic sounds. It is common for mothers to find that their babies like to sleep with the sound of a fan -- or even the much louder sound of a vacuum cleaner. Many babies, as well as much older people, find the rhythmic motion of riding in a car or a train to be very soporific (sleep-promoting). Other babies may rock themselves to sleep with rhythmic leg or head movements. An extreme form of this self-stimulation may be the sleep disorder known as 'head banging', which many doctors consider to be an abnormal exaggeration of rhythmic self-stimulation performed for comfort and to promote sleep.

29. Q: My 4-year-old wakes up in the middle of the night and the only way she will go back to sleep is in bed with my husband and me. Is it harmful to allow her to do this?

Most doctors do not believe that it is harmful for a young child to sleep in the same bed with the parents. Of course, Western cultures regard it as an entirely different matter if the child can, thereby, witness sexual activities between the parents. In most Western cultures, concerns about the need for parental privacy usually lead families to get the child out of the parents' bed. If your child gets into bed with you frequently -- say, more than once a week -- then you may want to discuss the matter with your daughter. Try to determine if there are psychological problems at the root of her behavior. If not, then she can learn to get herself back to sleep if you gently but firmly refuse to let her come into your room. Plan on having to walk or carry her back to her own bed several times a night for a while. If you have no success after a month of consistent efforts, then seek professional help.

The related question of an infant or very young child sleeping in the same bed as the mother and/or father has more complex answers. The nursing mother may wish to have the infant close by to minimize the disturbance of breast feeding to their own sleep. Fathers who get up during the night to feed infants have expressed similar views. Working mothers and fathers may consider bedtime as the only time when they can be close to their young children. Such practical and emotional factors should be balanced against the fact that, for a child to sleep well, it is necessary to learn to settle and sleep alone in bed. In the case newborns and young infants, some authorities cite the risk of crushing or smothering as a reason for separate sleeping arrangements. Amidst such conflicting considerations, parents must select the sleeping arrangements that best fit their current needs. A bit of personal experimentation with various same room and same bed sleeping arrangements can be helpful in deciding what is best for you and your family.

30. Q: My 6-year-old walks in his sleep. Will it hurt him if he wakes-up while sleepwalking?

Sleepwalking or 'somnambulism' is common in children. These symptoms occur during stages 3 and 4 NREM sleep, when the brain waves show a high-voltage slow pattern. During this kind of brain wave pattern, there can be little reliable sensory and movement activity. Many people mistakenly believe that sleepwalkers will not get hurt and that they can avoid obstacles. People can be injured while sleepwalking. Sleepwalkers have broken through glass doors, fallen down stairs and been burned after walking into hot fireplaces. So, the sleep environment should be made safe by locking doors and windows that open on to dangerous areas. Sleepwalkers may be very difficult to awaken and very confused if they awaken during a bout of sleepwalking. However, there is no real danger if a child wakes up while sleepwalking.

31. Q: My 3-year-old will only go to sleep on the sofa while watching television. After she is asleep, my husband must carry her to bed. Should we put an end to this and, if so, how?

People have trouble sleeping when they do not feel secure. Your 3-year-old can learn to get to sleep alone. The most common way to accomplish this learning is to firmly insist that the child go to bed and sleep there. Reassure the child at bedtime as to the safety of the room. The first week or so may be tough on the child and the parents, but the result of your child being able to sleep undisturbed in her own bed is worth the bother.

32. Q: My twins are afraid to sleep in the dark and insist on sleeping with the light on. Can they get their proper rest from sleeping in the light?

There is probably no short-term problem with sleeping in the light. However, sleep and wakefulness are controlled by an internal clock that is sensitive to light-dark cycles. The clock works better if the light-dark information throughout the 24-hour day is clear and consistent. Sleeping in the light may ultimately confuse the body and lead to sleep problems. You may try to use progressively dimmer and dimmer lights in the twins' room until they are comfortable sleeping in the dark.

33. Q: My 5-year-old wets the bed. I have tried to limit her fluids after dinner and I have made her responsible for cleaning up her mess. But we are still at odds and her bed wetting continues. What can I do?

Bed wetting (enuresis) is far more common than most people think. The necessary neurological control of the bladder sphincter can come as late as 12 - 15 years of age. It is best not to make an issue out of bed wetting in children under 6 or 7 who have never been dry for more than a few nights in a row. For older kids, there are several training methods that involve gentle alarms that do work quite well. For kids who have been dry for a number of months or years and begin to wet the bed again, parents should get a physician's opinion. Reappearance of bedwetting can mean genito-urinary problems, psychological problems or even neurological problems such as epileptic seizures.

34. Q: My little boy has the habit of waking up and asking us for a drink of water at 1 AM. What can we do to break this habit?

There is probably much more than thirst involved in your child's request for water. Fear of being alone and need for parental attention are two possibilities. It is best to firmly refuse to get the water and encourage the child to return to sleep. Try not to get involved in exactly how the child adapts to your refusal. Depending on the child's personality and age, the child can get his own water for a while, cry and act out, or just go back to sleep.

35. Q: My brother and his wife lost their baby to crib death and it has just about ruined their lives. I am expecting our first child next month. Does crib death run in families? What should I do?

Crib death or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is a tragic problem that is often related to an abnormal degree of immaturity in the systems that control the heart and lungs. It is common for such immaturity to cause problems only during sleep. There is a small tendency for SIDS to run in families. Doctors suggest that babies who are closely related to a SIDS case, be examined regularly. If your baby stops breathing or has irregular breathing during sleep, tell your doctor immediately. The sleeping position of new babies may is also important in SIDS. Studies in England have shown that 'Back to sleep' which refers the practice of putting newborns and infants into their cribs on their backs, significantly reduces the rate of crib death. Doctors now advise having babies sleep on their backs.

36. Q: My 11-year-old stays up late reading or talking on the phone because he just is not sleepy, but he cannot get up and get going in the morning. What can I do?

The body cycle that controls our wakefulness and sleep runs on about a 24-hour clock -- but not quite. That is why scientists term the cycle 'a circadian rhythm' which means 'about a day'. Actually the cycle is usually longer than 24 hours by 15 - 75 minutes depending on such factors as age and random variation among people. The cycle tends to be longer in young people and to shorten as we age. Thus, left without any information about time or the need to get up in the morning, most people will go to bed later and later each successive night and get up later and later each successive morning. It may be that your son has a particularly long wakefulness-sleep cycle. He may benefit from more and stronger time signals from our 24-hour day to override his internal 25+ hour day. The best signals are bright light and vigorous activity in the morning. The extreme form of this problem is called 'phase delay insomnia' and can lead to problems in school or on the job. The condition can be treated by sleep disorders specialists.

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