Phillip's Story - Searching for the Truth

I have no real idea how long I have had sleep apnea, but I do know that I have snored badly for at least 20 years. I hit the big 40th birthday in March of 2005, and my story goes back so far I am not sure where to start. Anxiety has been a way of life for me. While in high school, I was diagnosed with an ulcer. Continual worry was just a plague for me, and I often self-medicated my anxieties with alcohol or illegal drugs. Sleeping for me was always a problem whether it be sleeping too much or too little.

In July of 2004 things became much more serious. My anxiety turned to bad anxiety attacks and then panic attacks. My fear was death. I had chest pains, dizziness, disorientation, and a feeling like I just wasn't living in reality. Knowing that I must be crazy, my first stab at a solution was visiting a psychiatrist (something I had done several times in the previous 20 years), and after a single 20 minute visit he determined I was bi-polar and psychotic. His solution for me was a prescription for FIVE different medications. There is no doubt he helped my anxiety, but under his care, I wrecked my vehicle 3 times requiring repair and ran into the back of an additional three cars where no damage was done. I became useless at work and home and very nearly reached the stage of agoraphobia. My wife finally stepped in because she knew something was terribly wrong with my life since I was continually running into things, falling asleep while eating, forgetting most everything from the previous day, and being paralyzed with a fear I was dying.

Thanks to my wife we moved on to psychiatrist number two who really wanted to treat me for drug addiction, so he quit prescribing me medications that would make me high all the time but the chest pains and anxiety were still there, and we even made trips to the "Doc-In-A-Box" to get electrocardiograms only to be told my heart was fine. Still I knew something was wrong as I continued missing work, losing weight, having trouble sleeping, and living with continual panic.

I then reached the self-help stage reading all I could about anxiety and panic. I even began listening to tapes called "Pass Thru Panic" which were often quite soothing. Of course my problems continued.

The next step was to see a cardiologist who decided an echocardiogram of my heart was warranted. The results of this test indicated I had Mitral Valve Prolapse (MVP). I even got a second opinion from another cardiologist who did a stress echocardiogram with the same diagnosis. I thought, "finally I am going to be cured." I was now taking a pill to regulate my heart, Paxil and sometimes Klonopin to help with the anxiety. I also started an exercise regimen. The exercise and heart pill (Diltiazem) did seem to provide some hope in my life. The Paxil and Klonopin always made me nervous because I assumed that while they controlled my panic, I was taking them because I was crazy and worried it would get worse.

I snored so bad that my wife wore earplugs to sleep and could hear me even with them often. In fact, you could close the bedroom door and hear me snoring at the other end of the house. I decided I wanted to help my wife by doing something to deal with the snoring and scheduled a trip to a Pulmonary Specialist. He ordered a sleep study and bingo, I now have moderate sleep apnea to go along with my MVP. Most people are not happy when they find they have an illness, but I was so afraid I was dying that I was practically ecstatic to have two treatable conditions even though I knew little about either.

I began CPAP in early June of 2005 and began looking forward to a better way of life. I had troubles initially with mask leaks, mouth leaks, and having all this stuff on my face.

I am not sure if CPAP is going to solve all of the medical and anxiety problems I have dealt with most of my life. What I do know is that there are people living miserable lives and dying every day because they have diseases that can't be treated or diseases that are not being treated appropriately. I have learned that you have to be proactive and search for the truth when there is something medically wrong with you.

I would rather not have MVP or sleep apnea, but I am one of the lucky people who actually searched for and found two (and maybe all) of my real problems. Sleep apnea is a very treatable condition, and I feel fortunate to have finally found the right doctor to discover my condition because so many have it and suffer daily from lack of treatment.

Knowing you have sleep apnea is not enough. You should really learn all you can about sleep apnea and do your best to comply with your CPAP therapy or whatever therapy your doctor prescribes. If you do not find yourself getting or feeling better, discuss it with your doctor or consider finding another doctor. There are so many resources since the Internet is so prevalent, and I have found that the message boards, articles, stories, and chat rooms at www.talkaboutsleep.com are without equal in researching sleep disorders.

I became compliant after a few weeks on CPAP and have been compliant for close to two months now. I gradually worked my way from sleeping 4 hours a night to 7 or 8 now. I now wake ready to go where I once had to drag myself out of bed. I have energy I never dreamed of having, I am happier than I have ever been, and I feel great. Whether or not my heart symptoms, anxieties, and sleep apnea are related is something I may never know. I can say that I quit taking my anxiety medication a month after starting CPAP, and I have not had an anxiety or panic attack since quitting the pills. I have had some anxious moment, but we all do.

Search for the truth about any sleep disorder condition you may have, and when you find the truth, do something positive about it. The truth can empower you. You can't fix all of the pain from the past, but you can make the future a much brighter one for you and those who are close to you if you diligently treat your sleep apnea or other sleep disorder.

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